Tales of Touring Terror: “Who Hot Bagged It?” by New Jersey’s RAD HORROR

New Jersey rockers, Rad Horror, are helping us take our existing “Tales of Touring Terror” video series and convert it into a new, written format. Continuing to promote their recent and latest single, “Stay Out” (Jan 19th), the band’s lead vocalist Dylan Jackson Scott gets a little raunchy in his recounting of some unsavoury bathroom behavior.

Check out the band’s recent single, “Stay Out.”

Who Hot Bagged It
– Well, it’s always difficult to dig up your favorite tour story… whether it’s the ex-boxer homeless man, the lactating strippers, or when you brushed slightly against death’s cock from untreated walking pneumonia, after a while the choices become endless. So, I’m going to make this one short, sweet, and to the point. We’ll call this one… Who Hot Bagged It?

It was a cold night in Cleveland, Ohio, the steam from the club burrowed out while we sit on the bus with part of our crew and some friends. Everyone’s hanging out, calmly, waiting for our turn to play. All of a sudden someone comes out with a bag of shit they had just found under the bathroom sink. (Sidebar: For all those who have never been on a tour bus, it is known that shitting on the bus is forbidden and in the event of an emergency, you go in a bag and throw it out the fucking window.) Anyway, this person decides it’s a good idea to leave it under the sink for someone to find… Some found this funny, some did not. There were also 2 girls on this tour who were avid cleaners, so it was bound to be found rather quickly.

A bus meeting was quickly called. We have about 14 people sitting in a circle in the front lounge, using a banana to pass around when it was your turn to speak. It was called the “conch”. It was all very democratic and civilized, as civilized as 14 very drunk twenty-something idiots can be. There’s yelling, there’s calm rationale, there’s heavy screaming and threatening language being passed around. Now that I think about it, democratic and civilized are the absolute poorest of word choices. After much time of screaming, yelling and banana throwing, (we more resembled apes at this point rather than rational human beings) All the while a bag a feces still sits on our home, with no one to admit to doing it.

We leave Cleveland and move onto the next city. Yes, I know what you’re thinking but the poop was tossed off of the bus in Cleveland. The shit is gone, but the lingering stink of who the culprit is still rests heavily on everyone. 30 or 40 some odd days later, on the last day of the tour, Brooklyn I believe? Our Front of House guy comes clean and tells us he was the fucking hot bagger. He pooped the bus! He allowed people to threaten and point fingers, while he would graciously join in himself on playing the blame game, keeping the straightest of straight faces. Either way… Why did he do it? Was he embarrassed that he forgot to throw the shit away? Or did he really worship chaos that much to allow 14 people to blame each other for pooping for 2 months straight. We’ll never know, but bravo sir. Can’t knock the hustle.

Check out the song “Benzos and Cigarettes” right here.