Some Girls

Some Girls is a side project from members of The Locust, Give up the Ghost, The Plot to Blow up the Eiffel Tower, and Unbroken. Heaven’s Pregnant Teens is the name of their album. Crunching metal is their sound style. Musical creativeness is not their forte.

I just want to know one thing: why? Why would this band feel the need to repeat the same guitar patterns over and over again? When I heard the first song, “Beautiful Rune,” and the same guitar riff repeats for 1:00, I thought it was pretty cool. Sure, it was a bit different from the rest of the underground metal bands out there. But when the rest of the CD is home to the same repetition and annoying feedback, it begins to take a toll on your sanity.

Nevertheless, the next few tracks were actually pretty good; “Hot Piss” has a pretty sick breakdown, “Dead in a Web” is a 47 second onslaught, “Warm Milk” has a very hardcore feel to it, and “You’ll Be Happier with Lower Standards” is just pure, crunching metal. However, the repetition kicks right back in on “Ex Nuns/Dead Dogs.” The same guitar part repeats for 45 seconds; the same pattern, the same chord. THAT’S NOT MUSIC! What is the point of making a song with 45 seconds of the same guitar riff? Wait, it’s not even a riff… it’s just one chord!

Some Girls has music videos for the tracks “Warm Milk” and “Bone Metal,” two of the stronger songs on the album. The video for “Warm Milk” reminds me of the freaky video tape from The Ring. It consists of various shots of people throwing up, blood falling into toilet water, and more people throwing up. There are also vampires hitting cocaine, razor blades, and monsters leaving bottles of milk at doorsteps.

Very different from today’s conventional music videos that show boobs, titties, breasts, and shabadoos. Oh, and some ass. You definitely won’t see this video on Much Music. The video for “Bone Metal” is also very jumpy; it has many changing shots, this time of plane blueprints and control panels. Double You Tee Eff? The song starts out with 35 seconds of feed back and is only 1:26 long and the band decides to make a music video for it!? Whoa!

And now, on to the rest of the CD. The tracks after “Ex Nuns/Dead Dogs” are really nothing special. A few clever song titles such as “Retard and Feathered” may lead you on, but the songs themselves aren’t very solid. However, the thing I wanted to talk about the most on this album was the last track, titled “Deathface.” You think the repetition was bad before? This song runs for 9:07, which is certainly a change from the short, less-than-a-minute songs prior to this. Most of this song is the same guitar pattern and drum part over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again. Pretty annoying to read all these ‘over’s’ is it not? Not as annoying as this song.

At 5:35 into the song, the “cataclysmic” ending comes in to top off the whole CD. This ending is the same goddamned guitar part, same goddamned drum part, and even the same goddamned word over and over again. That’s right, for 3:37, the word “ape” gets repeated 194 times. (No, I didn’t sit there and count, there’s a lyrics section in the CD leaflet, smartass.) Maybe you didn’t get that the first time. 194 TIMES! How is this in anyway music, let alone music that got put on a CD and released to the public so that this band can tour and make money? To top all of this off, there is also a live video of Some Girls performing this song. I have mixed feelings about the video however, because there are two drummers playing at the same time, and that’s just damn cool. But that’s beside the point; the whole video is them standing there yelling “ape” over and over again. Wow, how creative! A retarded deaf kid on a trip to the zoo could have written this song.

So here we are. I have given this CD many opportunities; when I first listened to it, I hated it, but decided to hold off writing a review because maybe it would grow on me. A month later, after listening to it on separate occasions, the only thing that grew on me was my love for any band besides this one. Although the first 4 or 5 songs were pretty good, after that it drops faster than Mr. Burns’ white cell count. I give this album 5 ‘apes’ out of 10.  [ END ]

Track Listing:

01. Beautiful Rune
02. Hot Piss
03. Dead in a Web
04. Warm Milk
05. You’ll Be Happier With Lower Standards
06. Ex Nuns/Dead Dogs
07. Totally Pregnant Teens
08. Bone Metal
09. Marry Mortuary
10. Religion II
11. Skull’s Old Girlfriends
11. Retard and Feathered
13. Deathface

Run Time: 22:16