The Cadillac Three – “Country Fuzz” [Album Review]

“Weeeeeell, I sure am thirsty. Last week sure kicked my ass, lord have mercy I’d like to fix it fast.” The Cadillac Three have always been one of my favourite bands, even back when they were titled The Cadillac Black. I was up drinking late one night (no surprise) and flipping through channels when I came across this seductive sound between Black Sabbath and Lynyrd Skynyrd. I thought to myself, “who the fuck are these guys? I gotta figure this out fast.”

So, I sought them out and bought up everything I could find, which at the time was just a demo, later repackaged through a European label and christened The Cadillac Three. My obsession was so bad that, at one point, I took my fiancée to see their show and, while we were drinking at the bar, I heard the first few notes of a familiar song and I bolted towards the stage, leaving her and my drink behind. Hence, I’m single today. When the spirit of music gets inside me, rover takes over and it’s like giving a dog a bone. I wouldn’t consider myself a redneck, but there’s something about this band that makes me proud to be a “hellbilly.”

And oh boy, Country Fuzz is one hell of an album. “Bar Around Here” opens it all up with a call to arms for all beer drinkers and hell raisers. This is the kinda shit that makes you wanna call in sick and drink all day, like when they say… THE KANSAS CITY CHIEFS WIN THE SUPERBOWL! I regress, I didn’t mean to slam the door on all you other in-a-slump NFL chumps, there’s plenty of room in here, “just park in the right direction.”

“Hard out Here for a Country Boy” has all the classic swagger of a drunken Jimmy Swaggart after getting his ass handed to him by Sir Larry Flynt. “Chugging that cold beer, loving that hot girl” has us living that red, white and blue middle American dream because life is all about “Lifting this koozie got my arm tired, sweating and getting this old boy wired.” Life can’t always be a Friday night, but it sure would be a lot cooler if you did.

Take it easy and enjoy some “Slow Rollin’.”

“Cracking Cold Ones With The Boys,” c’mon now! Should I even write anything here? Who used to smash beer cans around their feet and walk into second grade late with crushed cans matching every footstep of the way towards detention? This guy right here. I think my punishment was to write the alphabet, which sure comes in handy right about now. But once again, I regress. “We got ice, check. We got coolers, check. We got cases of cold domestic gold waitin’ on the sun to set.” This is just plain, down-home, fun backwoods fuckery with good manners, of course. The thing about country folk is that, while we like to raise hell and wake the dead, we’re all momma’s boys at heart, with respect for everyone when the sun rears its head.

Then there is “Back Home.“ Everybody loves to go home to see family and friends, even though it’s not best to move back because you can only move forward in life… but man, the things I think about. “Put me on a river, and put me in a boat. With a can of Silver, watch a bobber float. Take me down on Main Street circle around that square. Half off at Jimmy Jacks Boot Shack, gonna grab me a pair.” I don’t know how many of y’all can relate, but this is my life in a nutshell (chilli lime pistachio reprise, please). The only thing missing in this lyrical content is the great Chili Colorado at Tres Amigos one block west of Main Street, “cause that’s where I’ve been getting stoned.”

Even though I’m a Jim Beam guy, I gotta give a quick shout out to “Jack Daniels’ Heart” with its crafty lyrics and sensational up-tempo, full throttle, country boogie ending. “Who broke Jack Daniels’ heart? Whoever broke Jack Daniels’ heart? They been makin’ brown liquor so he wouldn’t remember who broke Jack Daniels’ heart. It put a hurtin’ on my liver, but hell, I forgive her whoever broke Jack Daniels’ heart.” It’s usually around this time I take a cab to the liquor store but I triple regress (shhhh… I said make that a triple-double trouble) as its about supper time and things are winding down on this good Sunday night.

There’s nothing better than “Crackin’ Cold Ones With the Boys.”

Last call for alcohol. You don’t have to go home but you can’t stay here. If you’ve heard this more than a handful of times, then we’ve all been at the same bar and I best believe they’ve got a Waffle House right around the corner. “That bartender’s putting up all the booze, and that old jukebox has spun outta tunes.” It’s on your walk home you start thinking about everything C3 has sung about. I love to drink, and I love beer, but it’s nice to crawl into a warm bed when you get home with loved ones around you and sleep deep. After all man, there’s always tomorrow night “Long After Last Call.”

Country Fuzz Track Listing:

01. Bar Round Here
02. The Jam
03. Hard out Here for a Country Boy
04. Slow Rollin’
05. All the Makin’s of a Saturday Night
06. Crackin’ Cold Ones With the Boys
07. Labels
08. Raise Hell
09. Back Home
10. Dirt Road Nights
11. Blue El Camino
12. Jack Daniels’ Heart
13. Why Ya Gotta Go out Like That
14. Heat
15. Whiskey and Smoke
16. Long After Last Call

Run Time: 44:42
Release Date: February 7, 2020
Record Label: Big Machine Records

This one has “All the Makin’s of a Saturday Night.”