Mail Order Bride

Lots of green and a giant laser gun plastered with a reference to prostitution and a clever mix of early Metallica song titles with a children’s game. This was what I saw when the debut EP for Mail Order Bride was placed in my hands. This EP shares titles with the 5th track on the album, “Hide, Seek and Destroy.” Coincidence? Not really, it was up to the band.

So I throw the enclosed green disc, which depicts a child covering his eyes to further support the album’s name along with, of course, the band and album title itself, into my CD player. The initial 2 minutes of the first track, “Pistols At Dawn,” are purely instrumental, and very enjoyable at that. The song continues as Derek Hoffman’s soft yet enjoyable singing kicks in, though the background vocals are of obvious lesser talent, the song still maintains its “chill factor.” A few more seconds and you hear some additional vocals provided by the lungs of Alex Westgate. His screams definitely adds to the song.

The first few seconds of “Garth Brooks Is Sweeter Than Honey” will remind you of a radio circa 1956. The transition from this effect to the regular instrumentals of the song should’ve been a little less jumpy, so to speak. The song keeps moving and then slows right down for the verse. The chorus presents us with more energy and some more screams… and then slows down again. This song will remind you of a generic country song if you’re thinking about the title during your listening session, with distortion of course. The lyrics, however, are a bit deeper then country’s usual “I lost the love of my life” theme.

“Sleepless Under Streetlights” begins with a few heavy riffs to set the mood. The song turns out to be another slow jam. However, this is not a disappointment. The lyrics to the song, most people can relate to, I would think.

From the way “A Line Worth Singing” commences it would have you believe that this is yet another slow jam but then…it picks up. A good thing indeed; the song does slow down again and continues to slow down and speed up in an enjoyable pattern.

Ah, the song which inspired the title of the CD, “Hide, Seek and Destroy.” There isn’t much to say about this song other then the fact that it fits in along with the other slower jams on the album. But I do enjoy the jazzy instrumental section of the song at about a little over half way. This song is long, not quite 8 minutes, a very valuable aspect seeing as these guys are still in high school. Most bands that have yet to graduate, in my opinion, can’t pull it off. One thing’s for sure, Mail Order Bride can keep your Ritalin starved minds listening for the whole song just like Pink Floyd used to do.

And for the finale, “You’re Cute When You Sleep (But That’s Only One Stalker’s Opinion).” Ok, ok, the title is odd and a bit creepy but the song can be used in many ways. This song could be a slow dance song, a lullaby or as Jon Bon Jovi once said “This is a song for the broken hearted!” This song was definitely the perfect choice to be last and I applaud the band for their choice. As the song fades to a close and ends the album off, I can only await another EP; though I will grow more and more impatient.

Mail Order Bride has brought together a great clash of talent. I believe they could truly take their band somewhere. I love the album and the sound quality is fairly clean. However, the mastering left it still grainy, to a point. More mastering would definitely boost the rating, but for a very first EP, this is truly a work of art.  [ END ]

Track Listing:

01. Pistols At Dawn
02. Garth Brooks is Sweeter Than Honey
03. Sleepless Under Streetlights
04. A Line Worth Singing
05. Hide, Seek and Destroy
06. You’re Cute When You Sleep (But That’s Only One Stalker’s Opinion)

Run Time: 35:46