Destroy Boys: “Imagine if somebody wrote about Knocked Loose being a crazy male-fronted hardcore band…”

Since forming in 2015, Sacramento punk rockers Destroy Boys have used their music to mark the death of important chapters or events in their lives. Last month saw them release their fourth album, Funeral Soundtrack #4 an album which sees the quartet fighting back at the doubters, the music industry, and those who want to stop them from becoming the biggest band in the world.

Funeral Soundtrack #4 finds the band delivering their most diverse, confident album yet. In the words of vocalist Alexia Roditis, “I’m done being walked all over. I’m done being taken advantage of by people in the music industry and by people I date. I’m done doing what other people tell me to do…”

In our latest Cover Story, V13 sat down with Destroy Boys guitarist Violet Mayugba to talk about growing up, proving people wrong, attitudes to women in punk rock and what wanting to be the ‘biggest band in the world’ actually means to the group.

Let’s start with how you’ve described the previous three albums as marking the death of various chapters in your lives. Does Funeral Soundtrack #4 follow that theme, or do you see it as a door closing those chapters of your lives?

Violet Mayugba: “I think it’s like a reflection piece, you know? I don’t think we were super consciously reflecting on our last three records, more just reporting very raw emotions of how we felt, but with this one, I think it’s a clear representation of how we’re in our mid-twenties now, we’ve been through so much, here’s all these musical iterations of everything we’ve been through, and wrapping up that very, very youthful portion of our lives.”

When you started went into writing it, did you all sit down to talk about the record and did you have a kind of vision of what you wanted to achieve with it or the direction you wanted to go in?

“Our ambition is always to make something that just puts the last one to shame. That’s something that we always strive towards – outdoing ourselves consistently but, in terms of musically, we just wrote it mostly in the studio, so we didn’t have a clear goal besides let’s make something great. Let’s make a huge guitar record. In terms of what we wanted it to sound like, we didn’t have like a super clear, linear idea.”

You’ve talked about the last three albums being changes in your lives and various chapters. In terms of those changes, like your mental state, you’ve talked about leaving childhood behind and going into adulthood, things like that. How did you see those changes manifesting and what made you want to write about those changes?

“What’s funny about this record is the stuff we’re writing about is these problems that have culminated out of choices that we made in our youth. For example, I write a lot about unhealthy relationship patterns, which is something that I have been writing about since before Destroy Boys even existed, unfortunately, and just consistently writing about that it’s hit this peak. Also, there’s a little bit of music about kind of leaving that and coming out of it and thinking ‘I think that I’m finally better than this,’ which I think is a very adult thing to realize. I actually have confidence in myself. I don’t deserve to be treated this way. So, leaving that for me was a big part of it. It was a big thing that I wrote about.”

Do you find writing for the band quite cathartic then?

“Yes and no. When a song just pours out of me, obviously it feels really, really good. Playing them live, I think it’s the most cathartic thing. Songwriting, I get in my head, really bad. Even if I’m trying to write something to help me with my emotions, I’ll always be thinking ‘Is this part good enough?’ Like I start criticizing myself a little bit. So yes and no.”

Those relate to situations you’ve been in, when you talk to fans about it, how does that feel?

“It feels amazing when they get it when they relate to it. I mean, it’s sad, but it’s also nice to know that they have something that they can listen to and relate to and in turn go to the band when we are constantly reflecting ideas of ‘don’t do that stuff,’ so that’s good.

But it does break my heart to hear when kids say that they relate to songs like ‘Probation’ or ‘Fences.’ It’s pretty devastating and I always try to listen to them and tell them that life doesn’t have to be like this. My life’s not like that anymore. You’re going to be okay.”

“I write a lot about unhealthy relationship patterns, which is something that I have been writing about since before Destroy Boys even existed…”

In terms of this record and writing it, what would you say the biggest change you’ve gone through as a person is?

“Having respect for myself. Having self-confidence and respect and kind self-talk. Not speaking to myself in such an angry, aggressive way or treating my own body and mind like an enemy. Just realizing that I do deserve love. Everybody does.”

You talked about your first album being written at college…

“It was actually High school.”

What do you remember about that?

“High School for anyone can be a great time. It can be a really shitty time. I was really, really angry in high school. You can hear that on the record. My hair looks crazy. I was really mad and sad and just heartbroken about everything but I also had hope and a drive that I think shows up on Sorry, Mom.

I know Alexia probably feels the same way but what I remember about that time the most, relating it to Destroy Boys, is that I didn’t have a ton of friends at school. Alexia was my only real close friend at that point. I had a couple of friends who I still talk to to this day, but it was mostly just me and Alexia and people at my school knew that I really wanted to play music and that I loved Green Day and Blink 182 and was always saying ‘I’m going to do this, I’m going to do this.’

Nobody believed in me and then I proved them wrong and that felt really good for young me.”

How does that feel now? Looking back thinking, ‘You know, I’ve done it,’ because… four albums would definitely be proving it…

“It feels good. It feels like validating my inner child. There was a teacher at my high school who consistently, and I don’t know why he’s allowed to work with children, he consistently would tell me that I should quit music and that I was never going to make it. Why would you do that? He was literally like, ‘You are never going to make it in music. It doesn’t happen.’ I said, ‘Watch me.’”

V13 – Cover Story – Issue 60 – Destroy Boys

What was your reaction to that?

“I told him, ‘I will, I absolutely will, and you will look back on this and you will eat shit.’

He is still teaching at that school when we play in Sacramento, which is where Alexia and I are from. I’ve had fans come up to me and say, ‘I’ve read in interviews that you had this guy. I have him now, he still sucks, and is telling me I can’t accomplish my dreams,’ and I’m like, ‘you should tell the principal and get him fired because he shouldn’t be in the school.’”

So how did you and Alexia meet?

“We met through a mutual friend. I was very closed off to a lot of people so I had one friend who I was very close to. She came from a different school. We went to a party. Alexia was there and Alexia kept trying to be my friend. I was very angry. I didn’t want to talk to anybody, but they just never stopped. And here we are.”

Earlier you mentioned Green Day and Blink 182. Everybody in high school goes through that time when they start discovering music or artists that change their lives. Who were the artists that did it for you?

“Green Day, for sure. I was really into the 2014 indie stuff, like Arctic Monkeys, Passion Pit, that kind of stuff. I was also into emo like Pierce the Veil, Sleeping with Sirens, and Asking Alexandria, so, I was really into that stuff. Then, around 2015/2016, the surf rock garage revival thing started happening, and I just got into that like, really, really, really hard.”

Going back to when Destroy Boys started at high school. What did you want to achieve with the band?

“I wanted us to be the biggest band in the world. I still do.”

Nothing’s changed then?

“Nothing’s changed. I’m just a little tiny bit closer than I was before.”

Four albums closer…

“I used to feel really shameful about saying that because in punk it’s looked down upon to have ambition, but I have no fear about it anymore. I want to play music for the rest of my life. I want our music to reach as many people as possible. I want to do what good that we can do when we have that platform so I’m not ashamed to say it.”

We’ve talked about fans relating to your lyrics. What do you take away from listening to this record?

“I think there’s an emotion for everybody on this record. There’s a lot of variety and a lot of different perspectives. We’re not ever like, I hate you or I love you or I love this, or I can’t say I’m doing this. This record is very much a young person’s experience of being unsure about things, being unsure about relationships or situations or your life.

I think people will find a lot of solace in a lot of different things. There’s the growing up aspect. There’s money. There are haters. Adult relationships are very, very different from high school ones. Self-reflection, having to realize that stuff that you’re doing is shitty and you have to fucking stop. It’s a very adult thing to have to do. Addiction. There’s a lot of different things. I don’t think the record has a theme besides figuring out.”

“I want to play music for the rest of my life. I want our music to reach as many people as possible. I want to do what good that we can do when we have that platform…”

One thing you’ve talked about is the whole COVID period. I think you worded it as losing your entire self, but gaining a new one. Could you just talk us through that change? Was it an intentional change or was it forced because of the situation of COVID?

“It’s really weird thinking about that time. I went through a lot, we went through a lot, and I kind of lost everything in terms of playing live and other aspects of my life. I lost everything that I felt like my identity was built upon and I had to reckon with the fact that I am still me without all of those things. I haven’t really talked about this before.

I’m still me but I had to focus on life outside of Destroy Boys for the first time since I was like 15 years old which I did not want to do but I had to. It was cool. I tried to start getting into other passions of mine. I’ve always been a home cook. It’s something that I love to do and I got really, really fucking good at it. I got into like tabletop games like I’m really into ‘Magic the Gathering.’

I got into dog training, just things that I’m really passionate about but also building out my personality. My heart was hardened a lot over COVID. I think a lot of people experience that. Someone who had been very harmful to my life reappeared during COVID in a very violent way and I had to cast him out for the first time. I had to completely block this person, which was the first time I’d been able to do that since I was 17 years old. 17 to 21, this person had been bothering me.

What did you learn most about yourself during that whole period then?

“I learned that I can handle more than I thought I could. That I am tougher. I also learned that the world does not care about you. The world does not care whether you have big dreams, or if you are trying your best to be a good person, or if you are really struggling and you just need one win, the world will not give you that win.

It doesn’t care which is really hard and really sad because I’m a very sensitive, romantic, poetic person and I always thought that if I try my best I will do great. That is not how the fucking world works, which sucks and it’s sad but realizing that almost gave me a new sense of freedom doing what works for me. I’m just gonna do what works for me. what makes me happy. If things happen along the way, so be it.”

Did you take that attitude into the band?

“I’m still dealing with this in terms of the band. I continue to be blown away by how people will treat us, to be honest. I think that I’m a very naturally untrusting, suspicious person and I still find myself trusting people in the industry that will fuck us over. It’s just like that lesson over and over again. The world doesn’t care about you, you gotta do you. Having that outlook and then also staying empathetic and caring to the world and the others around you is really hard. It’s a balance I’m still struggling with because you can’t close yourself off from the world, even though that feels instinctual to survive it, right?

But, if you do that, you can’t have relationships and you can’t be vulnerable and be kind and take care of people. I work with dogs that have been abused or have behavioral problems and the world doesn’t care about them. What’s amazing about dogs is that a dog can grow up in a house for five years where it is kicked, spit on, barely fed, and not cared for and if you show it a little bit of love for say a week, their toughness is unmatched. They’ll just turn right around and that inspired me. I can still be kind. I can still be loving even though the world has dealt me some bad hands. That’s okay.”

The record is quite a diverse record. There are songs like “Amor Divino,” which are quite different to some of the grittier songs. Was the intention for it to be so diverse?

“I think that’s just kind of naturally how Destroy Boys happens. We’ve made a point on our first two records where all those songs started out as very singer-songwriter songs then they were converted into these punk things because I said, ‘I don’t want to not be a gnarly guitar band’, but, as we get older and we have more options, yeah, we can write a ballad, we can write a soft song, we can write a sweet song. We’ve always been that diverse, we just haven’t been displaying it.”

You talked about confidence, do you think that’s helped?

“Yes. Believing in ourselves and believing in the music that we make is huge. It’s huge.”

“I still find myself trusting people in the industry that will fuck us over. It’s just like that lesson over and over again. The world doesn’t care about you, you gotta do you.”

Talk to us about the collaboration with Scowl and Mannequin Pussy on the record and how that came about?

“That song is about very heavy topics of patriarchy and abuse. Upon first listening, you would feel it to be just like a straight-up female empowerment song. Alexia gave this great quote, “patriarchy affects everybody.”

It’s for everybody of all genders and all different types of people to realize that they don’t have to be under this thumb and it’s also very cathartic for me to listen to because there are a lot of different types of problems described in that song.

It’s not just about relationship abuse or sexual abuse. It’s not just about catcalling. It’s not just about unfairness in the industry. It’s all those things and more. So Kat (Moss, Scowl vocalist) and Marisa (Dabice, Mannequin Pussy vocalist) are the two most perfect voices to help us represent that. They deal with the same problems that we do. They’ve been through the same stuff that we have, which is awful, and I hate that for them. It’s a very, very powerful song.”

I wanted to talk about attitudes to women in music as a whole. There’s been conversations just generally about people’s shitty attitudes to women. However, it surprises me that you get those attitudes in punk rock. Is that the case?

“You would be shocked, right? You would think that punk, its ethos, its core is to accept everybody and just rally around all this rad music and this anger and these emotions, but misogyny is prevalent in punk rock. It is there. Punks are some of the most elitist people that I’ve ever been around, to be honest. I could have a more open and vulnerable conversation with, like, Taylor Swift fans than some of the punks from back home. Truly, and I think it’s about a willingness to hear other ideas.

You would think that punk is all about acceptance and openness but sometimes it’s not. Sometimes it is. I’m not saying that it is like that completely. I’m just saying there are some bad spots. In all of music, not just punk. In all of music, it is so much harder for women, especially women of colour, to make it in this at all.

There is something that we see a lot now, which we call the token slot. These big promoters and these big production companies will see they have all dudes on this lineup. Instead of thinking it’d be cool to have a girl on it what about it’d be cool to have a rad band on it and just listening to it purely on the music, they’re like, ‘We’re gonna get in trouble if we don’t have a girl. We’re gonna add a girl as the first of six.’ They don’t even listen to the music.

I also think that the whole female fronted as a term is a nuanced problem because I understand wanting to prioritize that and have a label for it, but I think that it’s reductive. I think it’s not a genre, like a genre descriptor. I think it’s used as a genre which isn’t fair. The solution I always give is, no shade to this band, this is not this band’s fault, I love this band. If you read an article about Title Fight, I love Title Fight. This is not me talking bad about them. If you read an article about Title Fight in fucking Pitchfork or whatever, there are about 800,000 adjectives to describe that record.

Then, if you go and read the same author, the same publication about something like Mannequin Pussy, Scowl or Destroy Boys, it’ll be like crazy girls going crazy and they have leg hair and they don’t care. And they’re yelling. And that’s crazy because they’re girls. And it’s like, why don’t you talk about my guitar? Why don’t you talk about my pedals? Why don’t you talk about the harmonies? Why don’t you talk about the lyrical choices? The ones that aren’t about, you know, female issues. Why not?”

“I could have a more open and vulnerable conversation with, like, Taylor Swift fans than some of the punks from back home.”

What do you think can be done to change those attitudes?

“I think people need to start looking at female-fronted bands as just bands. Judge them as you would any other band. If you don’t like their music, that’s fine. You don’t have to like it. You don’t have to like male-fronted bands either. A term that has never been used. It is not a genre. Imagine if somebody wrote about Knocked Loose being like a crazy male-fronted hardcore band. This guy’s screaming. That would be amazing. Everyone would be like, ‘Why did you say that?’ It’s the same shit. It’s the same shit. Just listen to bands critically as a fan of music and if you like it, great. If you prefer female voices, that’s awesome.”

You’ve talked about wanting Destroy Boys to be the biggest band on the planet. What does that term mean to you? Is that headlining Coachella or Glastonbury or something like that? Or is it selling a million records or filling stadiums?

“It’s all of that. Green Day is my North Star. I just want to be able to have a cultural impact. I just started saying this in interviews recently because I feel like I was too scared to say it before, but I’ll say it now. I want Destroy Boys to get big enough that it eradicates the idea of female-fronted rock being an outlier ever again. I want to provide a space in the world for all girls and non-binary people to start bands and not be reduced to their gender and what they sing about. I want it to be equal across the board. I want our success to be so undeniable that people will never reduce us to our gender ever again. That’s very important to me.”

What advice would you give a new band that’s coming through or just starting, or where you were when you were at high school?

“Play every show. Go to shows in your local scene and ask if you can play them. Be nice to everybody. Write music that you like, not that you think other people will like. And have the fucking best time ever…”

Destroy Boys new album, Funeral Soundtrack #4 is out now via Hopeless Records. Pick up your copy from here.