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Purely Provocative: Hamilton’s King Park Discuss the More Nefarious Side of Being in a Rock Band

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We’d like to introduce you to Everett, not a man but the upcoming album from indie rockers King Park. This is the debut full-length record from the Hamilton, Ontario quartet, a gritty, raw, blue-collar, but also artful collection of songs that will make their hometown proud. We previously helped you get to know King Park with free downloads of their songs “Clouds” (earlier this year) and “Grey” (back in 2017).

Everett has been a few years in the making now, the culmination of what began when the band released their 2017 breakout track “Stay” which was followed by their self-released debut EP, The Light I Can’t See in 2018. The core of King Park is composed of childhood friends and collaborators, singer and guitarist Timon Moolman and bassist Tyler Heemskerk. More recently, they’ve been joined by guitarist Brendan Campbell and drummer Nate Wall who have been instrumental in King Park finding their sound and that certain indie rock charm.

Just for today, we decided to put music and the group’s new album aside for a more outrageous chat about the cruder side of life. For our newest edition of Purely Provocative, we asked all four members of King Park some more off-the-wall questions about life in rock n’ roll band.

When was the last time you cried and why?

Tyler Heemskerk: “I just watched the episode of The Office where Pam doesn’t want to go to the hospital when she’s pregnant.”

Timon Moolman: “I listened to Frightened Rabbit’s ‘My Backwards Walk’ in the car today and wept openly.”

Brenden Campbell: “I haven’t cried in ages. Heads up, emotional repression.”

Nate Wall: “When I was saying goodbye to my former housemates’ dog, Zeno, he is the goodest of boys.”

What’s one of the most fucked up things that’s happened to you as a musician?

Heemskerk: “One time in Montreal, Nate’s band at the time finished playing a show, parked the van and went out to grab some poutine. Returning with full bellies and smiles on their faces, they stumbled upon, you guessed it, a good ol’ fashioned smash and grab. With over 10,000 dollars of gear stolen, the band was left in disarray, wondering how they would go on with the tour. They had a home spun DIY lighting rig with a laptop which had the whole show programmed on it. The next day, they cancelled the show, bought a new laptop and with a steady stream of whiskey being fed to their programmer, he reprogrammed the entire show in 24 hours, something that had taken him months initially.”

Purely Provocative: Hamilton’s King Park Discuss the More Nefarious Side of Being in a Rock Band

If someone stole all your band’s gear, then you caught the dickwad and no one would ever know what happened next, what would you do to him?

Wall: “This is such a convenient next question. Ask him if he’s met the lord and saviour Jesus Christ.”

Name some of your biggest pet peeves. You know… the ones that make you want to wreck shit!

Wall: “Weak coffee.”

Campbell: “My golf game.”

Heemskerk: “Timon’s photography.”

Moolman: “Brenden’s stupid face.”

Most public situation you’ve projectile vomited?

Campbell: “When Timon was in university, he taught a stats lab. In one of his morning meetings with the professor of the class, he arrived dishevelled and late. After taking some notes on a borrowed pen and paper (he had forgotten his laptop), Timon interrupted the professor to ask if he could use the washroom. He slowly got up from the desk, walked to the door, closed the door behind him, and immediately started sprinting ferociously. The first private bathroom he tried had an occupant inside who had forgotten to lock the door. He could not believe his luck, moments away from ejecting all over this woman, Timon instead sprinted to the public washroom.

Kicking the door open and hoping to God that no one was inside, standing in the doorway, Timon proceeded to launch in the general direction of the sinks. What seemed like black tar spawned from the depths of hell erupted from his soul, showering the bathroom in a wide and generous spread. Side-stepping the abyss he had created, Timon washed his hand in the only sink left untarnished and quickly returned to the meeting.”

What scares the absolute shit out of you?

Campbell: “Bears, mostly grizzly.”

Heemskerk: “Heights.”

Wall: “Darkness.”

Moolman: “The abyss of loneliness.”

Any near-death experiences?

Heemskerk: “One time, Brenden climbed a slate cliff, got about 100 feet up and all of his footings had fallen off. At the bottom were five-foot waves from the ocean along with jagged rocks, cliffs, drowning and certain death. He camped up there for an hour or two before his family came looking for him. The rescue mission was long and elaborate.

One time, after a lengthy hike down the river from Niagara Falls, Timon and his two buddies decided to go skinny dipping in the river. They came up with the brilliant idea of swimming to America in order to take dumps there. A little past halfway is when they realized that they were kilometers down from their clothing and they were flying down the river. The Niagara River is famous for its whirlpools. While they had been swimming, a couple of whirlpool tour boats had passed them. It was genuinely so close, one of the most terrifying and stupidest things we’ve ever done. They got the last buddy up from a rock that was his last stance, with whirlpools clearly in sight behind him. The best part now was the three naked guys had a comically lengthy hike to their clothing in one of the most popular areas to hike in Niagara.”

Name someone you’d like to punch in his or her stupid face, and why.

All: “Brenden! I promise we did not read these beforehand.”

Any arrests?

Campbell: “The first buck ‘n doe that Timon ever attended, ended in disaster when one too many Jello shots later, he stumbled to a random house and proceeded to crash on the couch. The snoring woke up the two beautiful little girls and in terror of the bear that must be downstairs, the cops were called and Timon was promptly taken to the station. To make matters worse, the buck n’ doe caught wind of Timon’s disappearance and spent the rest of the party searching for him. Timon told everyone that he had slept under a tree, figuring this was the lesser of two evils. Sandra, if you are reading this now, I’m sorry that I lied to you and I’m sorry that I ruined your sons buck n’ doe.”

Do you bathe on tour? Is it regular? Do you take what you can get and do a wet- nap wipe if there’s no shower?

Wall: “I bathed whenever I could, but it was rare. And I have done the wet nap sponge bath many times. I have also stopped a vehicle and asked my bandmate next to me to brush their teeth. It smelled like hot green onions and coffee breath in a stew of pickled rotten goose egg.”

Have you ever been too wasted to play live? What happened?

Anonymous Band Member: “One time, an ashamed member of King Park went out for beers on a Sunday before a 6 pm choir concert. After many beers, he went home and shared a glass of Ballantine’s Finest Scotch with his roommate. Finding that the scotch was going down very well, he decided to continue drinking the bottle. By the time of the concert, he was in no state to attend, let alone perform. Making himself a quick peanut butter and honey sandwich to sober up, his ride showed up and he headed out to sing.

It was truly a disaster. Holding on to the singer next to him for dear life, covered in peanut butter and honey, swaying from side to side, squinting with one eye and singing with as much gusto and bravado as he was capable of, regardless of the dynamic surrounding him. After the singing, he went and sat at the back of the church for the service and promptly fell asleep. He snored so loud that they closed these big glass slide doors in the middle of the service to block him out. Not a good look for the guy.”

Who is the biggest asshole you ever met and why?

The Band: “We’ve had a couple of sound guys that seem to be competing for the biggest asshole award.”

Tell us about the worst lie you ever told someone.

The Band: “Timon, I really love your photography.”

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