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Interview with CONJURER; From ‘Mother’ to ‘Team America’ – Movie Moments to make you “Retch”

Not for the weak stomached, progressive metallers Conjurer pick the top eight movie moments that make them retch..



Progressive metal band Conjurer have just released their lovely new video for “Retch” so, following the release of this cinematic offering, we thought it would be fun to sit down with the band and get them to pick the top movie moments that make them retch.

First though, a word of warning, this probably isn’t safe for work nor is it for the weak-stomached. Especially number five, that’s just fucking wrong…

01. Mousehunt – Cockroach Dinner (Jan Krause)
Always remember this making me feel unwell as a youngster…I think it was the colour of the vomit more than anything else.

02. Team America – Gary Pukes Forever (Dan Nightingale)
It’s a puppet of a man being sick. Like, fucking loads. You think ‘Bloody hell, he must be done by now’ but NAAAHHH, he just keeps chucking up! And the song’s called ‘Retch’ so… Do you see where I’m going with this?

03. Cannibal Holocaust – Basically The Whole Thing (Conor Marshall)
The turtle scene in particular, but I can’t find a clip of that. Basically the whole thing.

04. Thunderbirds – Oil Rig Rescue (Jan Krause)
Basically any scene in any film where crowds of people suddenly start cheering and clapping for whatever reason. That shit doesn’t happen. I don’t care if the world has just been saved. Shut up and get the fuck off me.

05. Antichrist – ‘Dafoe’s Knackers’ (Dan Nightingale) –
I think I’m gonna go with this scene where the mental Charlotte Gainsbourg smashes her lover Willem Dafoe’s knackers in with a brick. It gets worse, she proceeds to toss him off and blood starts spurting outta he dick, and even though the abortion scene in Nymphomaniac – also directed by Lars Von Trier – makes me wince more, I thought this one would be less offensive/more ridiculous.

06. Guest House Paradiso – Sick (Dan Nightingale)
This is the bit where people start being sick after eating poisoned fish – a bloke is trying to puke, but the vomit starts growing into a massive ball of hardened sick in his mouth, and then when it finally comes out, Eddie and Richie run away from it as it bowls towards them, a la Indiana Jones.

07. Freddy Got Fingered – Look Daddy, I’m A Farmer (Brady Deeprose)
Like, I obviously love this film, but the horse scenes make me very uncomfortable. Also, were he comes back and eats all those sandwiches while watching the horses for-neigh-cate, that bit is pretty rough too.

08. Mother – Fucking Hell Mate This Is A Bit Much Mate, Even For You (Dan Nightingale)
There’s also a bit in that frankly fucking fantastic ‘Mother!’ film I watched last night where Jennifer Lawrence’s baby is carried through a crowd of people, its neck snapped, and then eaten by the onlookers – all within about 20 seconds. As an aside, Brady here, this clip is fucking horrific and I’m really sorry to everyone involved.

Tour Dates:

02/21 – Leicester – Pi Bar
02/22 – Camden – The Black Heart
02/23 – Bolton – The Alma Inn
02/24 – Birmingham – The Flapper

The band will release their highly anticipated debut LP Mire on 23rd February 2018.

I have an unhealthy obsession with bad horror movies, the song Wanted Dead Or Alive and crap British game shows. I do this not because of the sex, drugs and rock 'n' roll lifestyle it affords me but more because it gives me an excuse to listen to bands that sound like hippos mating.