Ninjaspy: Exclusive “No Kata” Tour Journal 2 with guitarist and vocalist Joel Parent

Kitchener, ON: Twas a glorious reunion with Mason Tikl from What’s He Building In There. We crashed at his loft where he was prepping himself for a trip to Oktoberfest in Germany. Needless to say, many tall cans from Deutschland were consumed in the wee hours of the morning. We also had the pleasure of staying with a Doctor of Genetics and his family, a metal head with a doctorate! He put on the show at Maxwells Music House, a quality establishment with delicious drinks and amazing staff. Can’t wait to go back!!

Montreal, QC (visit #1): With a few days off, we decided to visit friends in Montreal. Our night started with bowling and beers at the old forum. Sadly, our van was broken into during our bout and some crucial items were stolen. If you are wondering why Joel is now performing sans kilt and tabi, wearing white shoes, thank the petty thieves of Montreal!! So if you see some homeless guy in Montreal that looks like Ninjoelspy, ATTACK!!! We also hit up Foufounes with Hal from WHBIT, ate some bagels, and ran through a torrential downpour in naught but our skins. A great success…

Fredericton, NB (Visit #1): An all night drive found us in Fredericton in the middle of the night. We had never met our promoter/host so didn’t want to wake him. Van sleeps for all, except Timja, who decided to camp out on the deck. He awoke to the two yappiest most horrible wiener dogs in history, and an angry promoter’s mom. Needless to say we did not return there as we felt our welcome had been worn out! But the promoter was all sorts of rad, put on a wicked show at the local hall, and much fun was had by all. Plus we had the exquisite pleasure of finally meeting our east coast tour comrades, We’re Doomed, a fabulous lot of talented young men with clever wits and rad t shirts.

Halifax, NS: Oh what a day! Show number one was at the grand reopening of The Pavilion. The kids lost their minds!! But they found them again as well, pretty sure. From there we hopped and skipped over the the Seahorse Tavern, a dark descent into a cozy little bar where the excitement in the room was palpable. By the time we hit the stage, we were east coast sauced. Joelspy finally fell off the stage at this one, after many previous close calls. He sacked himself on the wedge monitor on the way down. Lucky for him some very diligent crowd members pushed him back up on to his feet, and all was well, despite a crunched set of nuts. The next day was a day off due to a cancellation in Moncton (sorry Moncton, we miss you). We took a trek out to Peggy’s Cove, frolicked amongst the rocks, ate some chowder, and had a time. That night we met up with a friend from Truro and had a glorious campfire singalong until the wee hours. Joel might have singed his shorts during a power-stance on the fire pit. After that it was into the hot tub with the lot of us. Unfortunately the lid was swelled with water, and Adam, with his ridiculous super drunk human strength, heaved it off with such force that it decimated the entire railing off of the deck. So we got to have a nice hungover time of putting the deck back together next morning. Yay for bringing a power drill on tour!

Charlottetown, PEI: This was our first visit to PEI, and we are so glad to have finally made it. First stop was the beach. Being west coast born it was a sight for sore eyes to finally reach a bit of ocean suited for swimming. We dove in head long, recklessly, filled with joy and rapture. After some beach combing and sun napping, we packed up and shipped out for some fried fish and cold beers before hitting the venue, a tiny attic of a room up a narrow flight of stairs. Considering the fact that we’d never been to Charlottetown before, it was an honor to find many enthusiastic people on the dance floor. What a time.

Fredericton, NB (Visit #2): Metal Monday at the Capital Complex is yes. It was a mammoth of a time. Mammoth Mammoth opened up the show, crushing all those in their path with immense tusks and huge furry legs. We’re Doomed also had T-shirts with mammoths on them. We felt very un-mammothy in their wake. But we drank our sorrows away on $2 dollar beers.

Montreal, QC (Visit #2): A nice quiet time with a few bottles of wine, seated in Jai from We,The Undersigned’s living room amongst massive painted portraits of Riot Grrrls from decades past, courtesy of Jai’s lady, Jenny. WTU sadly couldn’t make the east coast leg with us, so it was good to see Jai and Feeney again. Next morning we had the immense pleasure of making an appearance on The Big James Morning Show (with Big James from Endast). We shot the shit a bit and played an acoustic version of an up and coming NS song “Azaria”, accompanied by percussive implements from James’ kitchen cupboards.

Toronto, ON: Apparently karma saw fit to feed us many a delicious meal in the great city of Toronto. The first came from the lovely Kara MacKinnon, a vegetarian, who cried as she cooked us up some savoury chicken breasts and salad. Club Nocturne was a trippy place to play too. The main room hosted metal bands, while the back room pumped out dubstep and dNb in the tween times. A fabulous combo. Twas our good friend Dajaun’s birthday that night, so the crowd, albeit somewhat small, was a drunken ruckus of rad. We slept that night at our sound tech, Justin’s aunt’s place. We awoke to his very nice, very greek grandma cooking up a breakfast storm and a gaggle of young nieces and nephew’s who only had one setting: turbo!!! So we spent the day entertaining and being entertained by children, playing soccer and frisbee, giving piggy back rides etc etc. A pleasant family affair with many photos, hugs and laughs. So wholesome! Offered some wonderful juxtapose to our generally unwholesome tour experience. We felt like dirty old uncles, but the kids seemed to love us!

Ajax, ON: We had the honor of witnessing the last stand of the mighty Lumbergh at the Top Shelf sports bar in Ajax. It was also the first game of the Canucks Pre-Season against Edmonton. A new birth alongside an old death. May the members of Lumbergh find new projects with which to wow us forevermore… and may the Canucks win the damn cup so the idiots in Vancouver have no more excuses to riot.

Montreal, QC (Visit #3): Free hot dogs are yes. This promoter KNOWS how to throw a party. Pre-drinks, free hot dogs, and a crushing line up of bands to make some metal in the POP Montreal Festival. Katacombes was rife with rad as five heavyweights hit the stage, including long time home town heroes Slaves On Dope. After the show, we made our merry way to the abode of Blair and Miller from Endast. Drinks, tunes, bros and ladies made this a memorable reunion that made for much rejoicing unto the night and morning. It was beers for breakfast the next day, and then on the road again. Joel and Patrick the Merchman Duct Taped big beers to their hands on the drive to Ottawa and were not allowed to remove them until they were empty! That made for an interesting load in when we arrived in Ottawa a few hours later.

Ottawa, ON: Canada’s capital swarmed with mounties, lobbyists, university students and politicians, thrumming with the political pulse of the nation. We ate sushi and took no part! Cafe Deckuf was a smidge quiet given the competition of a sold out all ages show below at Mavericks, but it was awesome all the same. Having rebroken his wireless beltpack mid-show, Joel resorted to a patch cord then tried to enter the circle pit, having forgotten about his sonic tether. He nearly yanked his entire rig off the stage. Crisis was averted however, the gods smiled upon us. And all were very very merry indeed.

Drive time!!! Ottawa to Thunderbay: 20 Hours: We woke in Ottawa and headed for the nearest YMCA. Had a soak in a hot tub that was growing some vile grey film of human filth. Treaded water in a pool astride old ladies doing aqua fitness to Gloria Gaynor. Sat in a sauna filled with naked fat old men who made weird noises when they breathed. YAY FITNESS!!! Grabbed some booster juice and hit the road. The drive was boring and uneventful as usual, until we had almost reached Sault St. Marie. About 20km out, all were asleep save for Adam who was at the helm, driving in the dead of night. He saw a doe and two fawns on the side of the road ahead. He began braking and moved as far ove as possible to avoid hitting them. Then one of the fawns walked right in front of the van at the last second. We all awoke to Adam screaming and the dead thud of deer on the bumper. We pulled over and turned on the hazards. Joel and Patrick The Merchman wandered back down the highway a hundred metres or so to remove the corpse from the road. It was bloodless and swift, but the fact remained: We had killed Bambi. There was a chill that night that cut deeper than the night wind. We thanked whatever gods there may be for granting the fawn a quick death. We had no axe or shotgun that would have helped us ease it’s passing. We also gave thanks that the fawn had not been a moose, else we all should have been dead or stranded. Life is fleeting, live for today. The Tim Horton’s lady was not impressed when Adam told her he was a murderer.

Thunder Bay, ON: Hoorah for a return to the Black Pirate!! Tons o fun, again! And a Monday to boot! After the show we all piled over to On Deck and ate delicious wings and nachos and drank altogether way too much. Next day we trekked out to the Tree Farm to do a photo shoot with SPUN Photography. By the magic of photoshop we shall be animated and multiplied! Keep your eyes peeled for trippy new photos coming soon!!

“No No Kata” Tour Dates:

09/29 – Winnipeg, MB – The Park Theater
09/30 – Saskatoon, SK – Cosmo Senior Center
10/01 – Edmonton, AB – Brixx Bar+Grill
10/02 – Prince George , BC – Third
10/04 – Kamloops, BC – Pogue Mahones
10/05 – Penticton, BC – The Cannery Theater
10/07 – Maple Ridge, BC – Hammond Hall
10/08 – Vancouver, BC – Rickshaw Theatre

Check out the song: “Skaingkh (The Skank)”